My Empty Notebook

I would like to announce that I officially am a functioning adult.

Well, I have been considered an adult for a while now, but there is something I did that recently cemented my status as one: I bought a Moleskine notebook.

These notebooks are portrayed somewhat extravagantly, as they are known as “legendary” hosts of creativity, culture, and potential. And ever since I watched a talk by a founder of Airbnb in which these notebooks were referenced, I knew that I had to purchase one of them. I actually have hotel concepts that I want to develop, so why not find one of these notebooks for myself? Maybe it will be a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, I thought; if so many successful people use these simple bindings of paper, I could harness my potential by writing and sketching on them as well. (Clearly, I am prone to being influenced by good marketing.)

So, of course, while I was at Target to purchase a cardigan, when I saw that they sold Moleskine notebooks, I felt compelled to purchase one of them. After some internal deliberation, I chose a classic squared notebook, but in a bright red color.

Now, guess to what extent I have used my notebook so far.

If you thought to yourself, “It has probably just been sitting on a bedside table ever since she bought it, it has not been written on, and she just opens it to smell its wonderful ‘paper scent’ every once in a while,” you are correct!

Yes, my notebook that cost nearly twenty dollars has not been used yet. And this fact is somewhat of a metaphor to my life right now.

I have a lot many goals and dreams, as most people do. I also hope to someday work for both NPR and Disney at various points in my life, and I would love to be offered internships associated with these companies sooner rather than later. I also would love to continue to develop hotel concepts, and if those do not work out, I desire to work for historic hotels. Nevertheless, these dreams have mostly stayed stagnant where they were developed: inside my mind.

Of course, it will be difficult to achieve my goals, but I cannot let my fear of going outside of my comfort zone stop me from working towards them. I will admit that this declaration is such a cliché, but it is true. I feel as though I am waiting for the perfect moment and opportunity to start my work toward my goals, regardless of if that moment will suddenly and miraculously arrive. The figurative bandaid that is laying over my potential wounds of rejection and failure from the public needs to be ripped off though, as I will accomplish nothing if I just sit and ponder what my potential future could be.

“You could walk outside of class today and get hit by a truck, and you could leave nothing behind if it is all in your mind.” This statement was made to my entire class last semester by a guest speaker, and although such startling announcements have been made before by many people, this one really hit me. It is great that I am dedicated to academics, but I need to do something else in order to actually make a difference now; my growing knowledge is of no help without any kind of application of it.

Not long afterwards, in mid-October, I was lucky enough to get a sort of push to finally create something for myself and “rip off the bandaid.” An assignment for one of my courses was introduced, and it involved creativity in how an analysis of an object could be written and produced. I actually had been interested in creating a blog of my own ever since I was required to do so for one of my classes earlier that year, so I immediately took advantage of the opportunity to finally get started. Here I am now, still writing for this blog of mine.

Of course, I had the choice to conduct a more traditional analysis in the form of an essay or PowerPoint and instead pushed myself to create my blog, but I have recently realized that I cannot and will not take all of the credit for my decision to begin my journey on this platform. I would be doing myself a disfavor if I stopped at the creation of my blog, and just assumed that since I have started it, that is enough for myself to take pride in; I need to work harder at it, look for opportunities for it to grow, and try to build a community around it.

My other, and arguably more pressing, goals need to be worked towards as well. I have been lucky enough to have the privilege to spend much time just creating my goals and dreams internally, but I cannot just depend on that anymore. Sitting in a place of wonderment and of no rejection, but instead of just hopes and perceptions of potential, is a mindset that I cannot let myself be comfortable in for much longer.

I am essentially embarrassed by my lack of initiative towards certain goals of mine. I definitely could have applied for internships for NPR and Disney this semester, but I could not bring myself to actively pursue them. Throughout the open window of time for applications to be submitted, I kept telling myself that there was no way they would even accept me with my lack of experience. Well, if I do not even try or do anything to work myself to become a person who can be “sellable,” I will lose any opportunity presented to me, and this time I have for development will pass.

Therefore, I am trying to work more actively towards my goals at this point. I did sign up to be notified of volunteer opportunities for a local public radio station, I joined an organization at my college, and here I am, still making sure to be active on this blog every week, but my work cannot not stop here. The Moleskine notebook that is my life, which is currently just comprised of empty pages, should not just be left sitting, with ideas floating elsewhere and not focused towards actual work and progress. (I also must not become reliant on cheesy metaphors.) It is time to rip off the bandaid and get writing, sketching, and thinking. It will be messy, I am sure, but this form of chaos is what made so many Moleskine notebook users so legendary. My journey will not be as easy and effortless as it is in my dreams, but the actuality will be better than something that is left blank and unused.


So, I cannot just say that I will start using my Moleskine notebook someday; I must start now. I have created an opportunity for myself to begin, and so I shall take advantage of it.

I finally put my name in the front of the notebook (I will write in other information later), although I chose to not write in the proposed reward for the possible return of my notebook if I ever lose it; maybe once I start to write out my ideas within the notebook I can accurately determine that dollar amount. Also, I must acknowledge that my pen was running out of ink while I was writing on the first page of the notebook, which is why it looks decidedly unpolished. Despite these flaws, at least I started, which is what I needed to do.

Have you ever realized that you essentially left your dreams in your mind, and had not acted upon them? If so, how did you bring yourself to finally get started? Please let me know.



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