My Guide to Baseball Games

Comparably to my feelings toward automobiles (as shown in the post about my Auto Show experience), baseball is a sport that I have spent countless hours around (thanks, family), yet do not hold much interest, or feel particularly invested, in.

So, when I was told that I would be attending a baseball game on a Saturday evening, mixed emotions arose. On one hand, I was somewhat excited to spent some time outside of the house and in the city; on the contrary, though, being away from my textbooks and laptop for hours over the weekend before my week of final exams made me apprehensive. (What a millennial I am, right?)

As someone who at least claims to attempt to make the most of every situation, I developed some ideas in regards to how I could make my experience at this specific baseball game both enjoyable and productive. Most of my ideas were put to proper use, and consequently, I would like to (in a somewhat snarky way) share with you all my guide to attending baseball games as an entity.


Receive an alarm clock

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The promotion for this particular instance of the pastime was the Hawk Harrelson Alarm Clock. To those readers who know even less than I do about baseball, Harrelson’s legacy of sorts is likely unknown, but the hype around this alarm clock was existent, nonetheless. Consequently, us visitors of Guaranteed Rate Field were determined to be some of the first 20,000 attendees. After power-walking to the entrance, we sighed in relief when we saw the remaining boxes of alarm clocks, just waiting to be taken home (and likely sold on eBay). Even I was quite excited to receive this whimsical beauty; hence, the “artsy” photograph above. Promotions are effective for me, I will admit.

Eat copious amounts of food

I distinctly remember being recommended as a young child being dragged to a sporting event to just eat throughout the entire duration of the game. Such words still seize my feeble mind when I attend sporting events, for better or for worse. (Who am I kidding? It is definitely for worse.) Attending a White Sox game and not eating a hot dog with grilled onions is preposterous by my family’s standards, and essentially akin to, I do not know, attending a White Sox game and not eating a hot dog with grilled onions, perhaps? On this particular occasion, I also had some soft serve. No, I am not talking about my weak high school badminton skills, but instead what is shown in the terribly unattractive photograph above and on the right of soft serve ice cream.

Walk in circles

I love to walk, and I believe many other people do as well. Accordingly, when the game at hand is becoming a bit dry, why not practice your crowd-dodging skills for a while? But really, I did walk around the concourse at the game twice, and although it was a nice way to spend some time, I apparently missed a viewing of a home run. Oops.

Wear a hat

Wearing hats is a lot of fun, I suppose, but I only reserve my hat-wearing for special occasions, which may or may not have to do with the fact that they consistently ruin my irksome hair. Anyway, baseball games on sunny afternoons are the perfect setting for the wearing of hats; for this day, I chose my 2003 All-Star Game hat. Feel free to wear your own hat, preferably from an event that you went to when you were approximately five years old, to your respective baseball game.

Watch fireworks

In case anyone was not aware, baseball games often display fireworks for attendees to enjoy. No, they are not of Disney Parks caliber, but nevertheless, they must still be appreciated. The image above and on the left showcases the daytime fireworks that were set off in response to a home run, while the image on the right represents part of the post-game fireworks show (which we watched for a few minutes before leaving to “beat the crowd,” obviously). In both photographs, though, you will see a plethora of advertisements; part of a Dasani water bottle is even visible on the right. You are welcome for the extra promotion, White Sox sponsors.

Study for an upcoming final exam

Yes, my friends, I did some studying for an upcoming final exam; who does not take advantage of such a fanciful studying experience? As I mentioned before, at the time, my final exams for the spring semester were starting in a few days, and my subsequent dread and fear prompted my proposed productivity. Since the purse that I brought to the game was rather small, I actually took pictures of one of my study guides with my phone and used the images to ask myself questions and then scrutinize my knowledge. If you are going to look at your smartphone during a baseball game, you might as well test yourself on the many steps of a guest’s arrival at a hotel, which will end up not even being on the final exam, right? Right?

Read a book

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Yes, my friends, I also brought a book to Guaranteed Rate Field. It is sort of a tradition of mine (meaning that this instance was my second time partaking in such an activity) to bring a book to White Sox games, and I was passionate about continuing it. As my bag was being checked upon my entry of the park, I was asked by a staff member “You are not going to read that, are you?” My reply, of course, was a jumbled “Ahh…no?” Well, I did end up reading a bit of Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, and let me just say that reading Lolita in public was definitely an experience of sorts. Would I recommend reading this novel? Yes. Would I advise a friend to read the novel while people of varying ages and passions for baseball are sitting right around you? Probably not. Regardless, I made sure to get a picture taken of me with the book before the sun began to set, as I wanted to continue the tradition I started last year while reading The Metamorphosis by Franz Khan at the then-called U.S. Cellular Field. I was asked by a family member during the process “You are holding up that inappropriate book?” Yes, I was.

In short, reading a book at a baseball game can be a good idea; I would recommend exercising decent judgement in regards to the behavior, though, and perhaps some bravery as well.

Eavesdrop

I must confess that I am a rabid eavesdropper. Listening to conversations and having no responsibility to speak is just so appealing to me; the experience is comparable to listening to a fun podcast. (My perceptions of communication are clearly orthodox; I am such a millennial, am I not?) Admittedly, listening to sports fans talk about baseball with a discernible mastery of the subject is indeed fascinating to me, and almost inspired me at the time to stop reading Lolita and actually become invested in the game at hand. By the way, I need you all to know that the person sitting behind me went to the driving range on a Tuesday a couple of weeks ago. I hope you did well, person!

Think about the overwhelming amount of options and opportunities you have in life

With my first year of college coming to a close, my simultaneous excitement and apprehension toward the future had to arise at some point throughout the baseball game. I am lucky to have so many options, but which ones are best? These types of questions are exactly what an attendee of a baseball game should ask themselves, just as proponents of “the wave” shamelessly pressure your section of the stadium to partake in their odd behavior.

Really, though, what should I do with my life? Please let me know.

Ponder both the insignificance of your life and how lucky you are to exist (although some astronomers assert that there are so many Earth-like planets that we are not even that unique)

There is no invalid setting for an existential crisis.

Watch the baseball game

People actually watch the games they pay money to see? What a concept. Honestly, someone needs to teach me how to do so for more than five minutes. (I am such a millennial, right?)

Plan out a blog post

Evidently, I spent some of my time at the baseball game planning out this blog post. Coming up with ideas, and taking pictures accordingly, was definitely amusing for yours truly. Being aware of the peculiar and little ways in which I make sporting events more enjoyable was something that found value in, and is a concept that I hope to continue within different concepts.

Even with my snark, I really did enjoy my time at the baseball game; it may not be noticeable, but I can appreciate the sport and the atmosphere at its stadiums.

Also, I forgot to mention this fact before, but the White Sox won the game we went to. Yay.

Clearly, my priorities are in order.


I hope you all enjoyed this odd blog post of mine! How do you make events as productive and enjoyable as possible, even when you are not particularly interested in the situation itself? Let me know! I also am still waiting for people to let me know what exactly I should do with my life…

-Stephanie

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