Hello, everyone! Welcome to the fourth installment of my series titled “The Stories Behind My Drafts,” in which I do, in fact, reveal the stories behind my drafts.
Somehow, it has already been nearly a year and a half since I last updated you all on the odd collection of half-written posts, personal rants, quick ideas, and mere titles that resides on my overstuffed WordPress account; thus, I am more than ready to embarrass myself through the presentation of another batch of unfinished pieces, last edited between November 2018 and January 2020.
Seriously–I now have 77 drafts sitting (largely) dormant here on my profile, whether due to their loss of relevance, lack of potential, or status as a product of my tendency to utilize WordPress as my digital journal. Needless to say, I have a difficult time parting with my notes-to-self, regardless of their quality.
So, without further ado, let us begin!
“Untitled” – November 4, 2018 (last edited at 9:56 PM)
Now, for this first entry, please allow me to indulge in a moment of nostalgia.
This untitled draft is a collection of scattered “sentences” that I formulated four days after my final, phone-based interview for the Disney College Program, and approximately 20 hours before I would be accepted into said internship initiative. After a few days of feeling generally satisfied with my performance and optimistic about my chances (what a concept), doubts finally started to appear in full force that Sunday evening, first in my psyche, and then in an online draft that I knew would never turn into an actual post. Featuring such fragments as “Different medium hi but nervous,” “PLEASE JUST LET ME IN,” and “do not want to get hopes up,” this draft acts as an apt representation of my inner dialogue at the time, which is now able to make me sentimental.
Honestly, I can hardly believe that over a year has passed since I started my Disney College Program experience.
“Star Wars Prequel Party” – December 19, 2018 (11:39 PM)
This, my friends, is one of those occasions in my “Stories Behind My Drafts” series when I publicize a concept for the sake of building motivation to materialize it.
As the title of the draft at hand implies, for quite some time, I have desired to throw a “Star Wars Prequel Party,” in which I ~finally~ view and document my reactions to the entirety of the Star Wars prequel trilogy, and do so sans any breaks between films (accordingly, the only two words in the draft read “seven hours”). Evidently, even with the start of my time at Walt Disney World quickly approaching, my December 2018 self could not muster the time and energy (or the lack thereof) to actualize this endeavor; in turn, I am still devoid of the entertainment and joy that I am sure the prequels could grant me, at the very least in an ironic fashion.
So, yes, I am accepting applications for people who can impel me to follow through with this “party” someday.
“Untitled” – May 29, 2019 (11:24 AM)
My second untitled entry in this installment, in contrast to the melodramatic norm for this genre of drafts, surprised me with its substance: What I found inside happened to be a draft of the sixth part of my fourth section of my “From a Century of Progress to Progress City and Beyond: The Comparability Between the 1933-34 World’s Fair and the Disney Parks” project (what a mouthful), entitled “A Wonderful World of Color.” The presence of this draft, I believe, can be credited to my process in May 2019 for deciding how I would publish each portion of my lengthy undertaking. Ultimately, I would group this brief write-up on the fair’s Color Progress exhibit and the defunct Colortopia attraction at Epcot with the previous segment, covering the various futuristic houses of A Century of Progress and said theme park–meaning that I really do not need to keep this draft.
“Ugh” – June 17, 2019 (10:57 PM)
Hey, at least my melodrama has a representative title this time around! Reading over this 267-word overview of a potential post, I cannot help but grimace at my state of mind that informed its creation, for my frustrations had coalesced into a slush of self-loathing that even I, my early-2020 self, can already find superfluous. In the draft itself, which I am glad to have not published in any form, I essentially discuss my inclination for social withdrawal over the past year or so, then, out of no where, burst into frustrated keyboard smashing and exclamations about how I did not feel able to “WRITE LIKE MYSELF” (yes, in all caps). Just some good, old summertime fun!
“My Reviews of Disney Junior Shows” – August 6, 2019 (8:11 PM)
Toward the end of summer 2019, I, for some reason, endeavored to follow my fascination with the contents and motives of children’s media by watching and giving commentary on Disney Junior programming. I know…I just come up with the best ideas, right? Anyhow, I ended up viewing exactly one episode of one show–the pilot of Tangled: The Series, in case anyone was curious–before my draft became stagnant, despite my genuine enjoyment of taking the time to evaluate that first program. To this day, my full notes on Tangled: The Series sit in my Moleskine notebook, while a collection of Disney Junior shows awkwardly occupies a sizable portion of my “Watch Later” playlist on YouTube. (By the way, I am still shocked by the number of views these episodes have attained on the platform.)
“Christmas” – September 20, 2019 (9:47 PM)
For those who are unaware of this fact about me, I possess an inexplicable level of love for Christmastime: the associated decorations, music, food, movies, expectations for snow, and the like. As such, or maybe as a motivating factor, the winter holiday season has long held a role for me as a source of comfort, no matter the time of year. In particular, the month of September has consistently hosted some of my most intense spells of pre-December admiration of the holidays, with 2019 not being an exception. In a fashion I assume to have been a consequence of my enhanced insecurity at the time, I envisioned a mid-September blog post exploring my emotional attachment to Christmas–which, as shown by my corresponding draft that contains exactly zero words, has obviously not yet been fulfilled.
“Albums 2019” – December 2, 2019 (10:27 PM)
For the past couple of years, I have lightly considered the prospects of ranking and waxing poetic on my favorite albums of the given year, as is commonplace among the cohorts of music fans with which I passively associate online. Clearly, 2019 did not prove to be my first year to finally execute such a concept, due to my schedule of forthcoming posts, the extent of music-related entries on that imaginary schedule, and my lack of confidence in justifying my music criticism.
(I did tweet out my Topsters ranking at the end of the year, though.)
Will I make a year-end list someday? Perhaps so. Would the list hold any weight anyway? Probably not, and I would not condemn anyone for their indifference.
“Untitled” – December 18, 2019 (8:18 PM)
Okay, please let me divulge the presence of one more melodramatic draft in this “Stories Behind My Drafts” installment.
As one can probably tell, I do not tend to enjoy lengthy breaks from school, particularly at the exact moment when my initial excitement wears off and the past semester’s routine completely dissipates. Therefore, in retrospect, I am not shocked to see a theatrical level of balladry in a draft written in the week following the conclusion of the Fall 2019 semester. Self-doubt certainly made a grand return in this venting session, I will say, but at least I was able to recognize and document the possibility that I was overreacting!
“My First Coffee Cupping Experience” – January 6, 2020 (10:11 AM)
Let me just say that I am physically shaking my head from side to side as I reflect upon the doomed post that is “My First Coffee Cupping Experience.” In short, for weeks, I had been anticipating my attendance of a complimentary cupping (or, tasting) session at my favorite local coffee shop, to the extent that I actually began the process of outlining the write-up at hand, but once the time at which to participate was upon me, insecurity and apprehension took over for me. That is all I will say.
“Post About No Community” – January 6, 2020 (9:29 PM)
January 6, 2020, was perhaps not my best day.
As I state in the first sentence for this 213-word draft, though, I was “not looking for sympathy” by working on this prospective post; instead, I held a genuine, constructive interest in planning how I could build a strong sense of community for myself, with my imminent start at a new college being a motivating factor. Hosting such possible options as “knitting,” “exercise classes,” “concerts,” and “online forums that I lurk,” this post exemplifies my incessant craving to resolve my worries that I am not “part of something” or allowing myself to delve into my interests far enough to attain true proficiency; therefore, while I have not completed the discussion that I believe this draft requires, I am pleased to have taken a step to jot down my ideas.
Plus, I am glad that taking a look at this potential post reminded me of my interest in taking a fencing class! I mean, who could object to the concept of me wielding a sword in a combat sport?
Well, I hope you could find some sort of enjoyment in this exploration of another group of 10 unfinished entries in the “Drafts” section of my WordPress account! Do you retain your own drafts of personal work, whether in digital or print formats? I would love to know!